Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
