Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
