that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
