So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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