i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
