I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
