So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
