I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
