Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
