He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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