these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
