We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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