You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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