you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
