i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
this just has baby written all over it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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