I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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