you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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