whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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