i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
