you will always have a special place in my vag
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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