You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
