I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
