you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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