I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
