no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This baby is an asshole
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
