If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
