I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
