He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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