I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
