I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
