Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
