2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
