she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
