You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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