if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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