I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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