We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
