I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
