Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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