wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
