i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
