I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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