I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
