Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
