Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
