We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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