I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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