I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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