oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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