It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
