Dual....:-)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
