just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
