Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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