Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
