So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
